I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
