4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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