whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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