Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
