she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
