where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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