She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
