I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
