Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
