So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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