Its about making memories worth repressing
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
