I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
