There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
