forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
