girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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