making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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