I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
