there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
