Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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