I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
