So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her vagine was all disorganized.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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