WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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