We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
