Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
