You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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