No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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