a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
