Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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