Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
