I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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