i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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