Whod you bang
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
