So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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