last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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