; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
