I puked a lego.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
