Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
