Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
