Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
