I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
