Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
