i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
