Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
