Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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