she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
