laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
