Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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