Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
