that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
