Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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