Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
