I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
