hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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