I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
